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I enjoyed reading this book. I like books that are simple, set in normal settings showing the normal lives of normal people. However, the middle of the book drags a bit and other characters apart from to two lead characters are barely developed at all. I loved the beginning, the middle's first half was great, the middle's latter half was meh, and the ending was fine.
Marianne and Connell are schoolmates who start a relationship that neither of them acknowledges in school. Connell is popular at school, while Marianne is considered odd and proud. This is juxtaposed to when they reach college and Marianne fits well in the social circles while Connell becomes a wallflower. Connell's mother works as a housekeeper at Marianne's. They both go through life from school to college and keep finding their way back to each other. I really enjoyed the experience of reading this book despite some of my problems with it. For characters whose relationship is premised on conversations and communication, they miscommunicate often. I usually hate that, but this book does it well. I like how we are able to see the two different perspectives of the same situation.
Again, I like books that don't go anywhere in particular, if that is not to your taste, you might not like this book.
Stuff I loved
Although the writing style, with the absence of quotation marks, is jarring at first, you get used to it quickly and it is actually fun. It gives the book a messy and casual feel. I like how class is subtly dealt with in the book. I love how politically active the two characters are and that most of their relationship is rooted in both of their discussions on society, politics, and rights. I think my favourite character is Lorraine, Connell's mother. While there is very little of her in the book, I think she straight-up steals the show. I like how opposite Connell and Marianne's lives are while also being familiar.
Stuff I didn't like as much + content warnings
Most characters felt one-dimensional apart from Marianne and Connell. Even they do not have a lot of character growth by the end. BDSM and consent are not well represented. Issues like depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, su*cide are not given the attention and space in the book that they should have gotten. Connell is a jackass at the beginning of the book.
SPOILERS
Parts I loved
- Class narratives (Scholarship Exam)
I like the subtle discussions of class. Like when they discuss the scholarship exam in their college. When Connell wins the scholarship his reaction is:
'Everything is possible now because of the scholarship. His rent is paid, his tuition is covered, he has a free meal every day in college'
When he calls his mother after winning:
'He remembers calling Lorraine after the announcements and she was just quiet on the phone, shocked, and then she murmured: Oh my God, Jesus Christ!'
On the other hand, earlier in the book when Marianne is discussing the same scholarship exam:
'For Marrianne, who doesn't pay her own rent or tuition and has no real concept of how much these things cost, it's just a matter of reputation. She would like her superior intellect to be affirmed in public by the transfer of large amounts of money.'
These happen some 20 pages apart from each other. I love how different their interpretation of the scholarship is and how it is used as a tool to highlight the class difference and what that means for access and privilege.
The scholarship is also used as a tool of criticism for the inaccessibility of education and elite institutions when Connell points out that the people waiting on him during the free meals were his fellow students who are trying to pay their way through
- Miscommunication
I am an absolute hater of the miscommunication trope but I think it is well done here. The second breakup that Connell and Marianne go through is based on miscommunication. Both of them end up projecting their insecurities. When Connell asks 'I guess you'll want to see other people, then, will you?' because he is moving out of his current flat and going back home for a few months. At this point, he is nervous because he has not been able to ask Marianne if he can live with her since he cannot pay rent. To Connell's question, Marianne coldly said sure because she believes he avoided telling her he is moving back home till the last minute. When she narrates the incident she says, 'he said he wanted to see other people'. It is such a simple miscommunication because both of the characters were preoccupied with other concerns and their own insecurities.
Toward the end of the book, they are discussing their night out. Marianne asks him about another girl at the party, she then asks him if she had annoyed him in some way because he left abruptly. To which he replies that he wanted to go to the smoking area and had asked her if she wanted to go along. She says he did not ask, he says he did but the music was too loud. He apolgises and says he was not annoyed at her. I love this because the conversation before this is strained by both of their perceptions of the night before and with this clarification it is quickly resolved. This simple resolution could have happened to the whole 'see other people' confusion, but I think they were much more caught up in their own insecurities earlier in the book than later.
Again, for characters whose relationship is premised on conversations and communication, they miscommunicate often, but I like how the book does it. But at the same time for a healthy relationship (which for the most part they were not) communication is key, a lot of their small issues could be solved with just communicating better. I think that is exactly why I like how this book does it, it knows that this is small and can be solved but people are just stupid sometimes.
- Politically active kidz and monologues on literature
I like hearing both of their opinions on the world, the emails they exchange while traveling, their insights about animals, protests, literature and public readings. Love all of it despite lacking nuance and direction. I also like how the book subtly once or twice calls them out for armchair and champagne politics. Love that awareness. It actually sounded like how a lot of people who want to sound woke without doing the hard work, reading and critical thinking sound.
Stuff I did not like
- One-dimensional characters:
The other characters are barely people. I understand that maybe it was purposely done, the focus is Connell and Marianne's relationship. Yet, especially when it comes to Marianne's family I think an exploration of her brother and mother was a little important for us to understand why Marianne has the issues she has. All of their friends from school, as well as college, are just names. I never also really got a good grasp on the two main characters.
- Marianne, abuse, and BDSM
Marianne's history of abuse and the impact of that on her subsequent relationships is always just at the surface level. We never really properly get to know whether Marianne likes the things she asks for in her relationships. Her brother's character needed just a little more attention for us to make sense of how her household really is.
I think BDSM and consent are grossly misrepresented in the book, as is the case with most popular books I suppose. I don't like how it allows characters to use the idea of subs and doms to justify abuse.
On that note, I don't understand what was up with Lukas, I don't think the story benefitted from having him at all and Marianne's interaction with him just made me uncomfortable. I hated it and it barely served the plot.
- Mental health
Connell's depression is barely dealt with. It is not given the attention it needs. It feels like it has just been used to give his character depth. Just saying okay now he is taking medicine felt like a cop-out. Similarly, an eating disorder is hinted at for Marianne throughout the book, but we never really get around to talking about it.
