i used to write letters
on carefully picked papers
with specific stationery
i loved signing them off
yours
yours faithfully
yours truly
yours sincerely
something about belonging
to others felt right
being known in connection
because somehow i was never really mine
dont get me wrong
i love (loved) the people i wrote for
i thought i could stack words
on top of one another
and call it a person
that the long lists
of 'yours' would make me one
but i cannot
people are too many words
to fit on a page or eight
i felt this need to
romanticise relationships
write them in ink
to be able to feel them
dont get me wrong (again)
i love the art of crafting letters
thinking of words
putting them together
handmaking envelopes
but i cannot
because paper trails
don't do justice
to constellations
i used to write letters
to 'my future self'
hoping she was better
but i cannot
split myself in three
a past, present, future, me
i will still write letters
on carefully picked papers
with specific stationery
but i will not
sign them off with a
yours sincerely
